


sweet catastrophe

by peppermintcas



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: M/M, nighttime adventures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-05-10 00:08:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14726220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peppermintcas/pseuds/peppermintcas
Summary: Alex looked at Zach, then at the clock. It read 9:50. “The night is so fucking young,” he said. “Let’s – I don’t know. Let’s do something.”





	sweet catastrophe

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in 2 hours at 3am. i was in a hurry. i'm not sure whether or not this is coherent. i'm very tired.

They sat at the edge of the dance, watching, waiting. Alex’s hands were folded neatly in his lap. Zach noted this. Zach noted a lot of things about Alex: his moods, his hands, if he was uncomfortable, if his hair was swept neatly over his forehead, if his eyelashes were really that long or if that was just the light.

He tried not to think about it.

“Wow,” Alex said, breaking the silence. “This whole dance is – kinda anticlimactic.”

“Yeah, definitely,” Zach said. He glanced over. “Where’d Jess go?”

Alex sighed, leaned back. “I don’t know,” he said, but he didn’t sound upset. “She said she’d head to the bathroom a while back and disappeared. It’s chill,” he added, when Zach looked at him. “She probably bumped into a friend.”

Zach hesitated. “Alright.”

They watched the dancers on the fringes, the way they swayed awkwardly to the music. Self-conscious. Nervous.

“Everything is so fucking weird,” Alex said. “And everyone knows it, and nobody acts like it.”

Zach shrugged in response. “I wouldn’t blame them if they wanted to forget about everything.” Then, “Hey, where are you going?”

“Jess has been gone exactly forty-five minutes,” Alex said. “I don’t think she’s coming back.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to wait?”

“Yeah,” Alex said. “Yeah, I’m sure. And you’re my ride, so…”

Zach rolled his eyes and got up to offer his arm. Grudgingly, Alex took it. “Alright, Standall,” Zach said. “Let’s roll.”

/

The ride home was quiet. The windows were open and the roof was down, the warm spring air washing over them like a wave. The humidity, though, had Alex wrestling out of his tie.

“Do you know how to untie a tie?” Zach said, trying not to laugh.

“Excuse you,” Alex said. “I will remind you that one of my hands doesn’t, like, work.”

They rolled to a stop at a red light and Zach reached over, yanked off the tie in one swift motion. Alex scowled at him. “Hey,” he said, undoing his top button, then the next. His chest was skinny and open and nothing Zach hadn’t seen before, but he was caught by it nevertheless. “Fuck you, I could’ve done that myself.”

“Yeah,” Zach said, “sometime in the next century.” He tossed the tie into Alex’s lap. “So I’ll drop you off at your house, then.”

Alex looked at him, then at the clock. It read 9:50. “The night is so fucking young,” he said. “Let’s – I don’t know. Let’s do something.”

Something in his voice made Zach stop and look at him, long and lingering. His eyes were wide, his face washed in the light of the streetlamps around them and the red light. The streets were empty. The sky was full of stars.

The night, as Alex had said, was fucking young.

“Okay,” Zach said. Found himself saying. He didn’t know where this was coming from. But Alex was already grinning - and that was it, he was done for.

“Yeah?” Alex said.

“Yeah,” Zach said. “Okay. Where do you want to go?”

/

“Okay,” Alex said cheerfully. “First stop.”

Zach parked the car and glared. “I didn’t mean the nearest Shell station when you suggested your nighttime adventure.”

“Oh, come on,” Alex said. “I’m hungry. Don’t tell me you aren’t, you fucking giant.”

“Fuck you,” Zach said, because he _was_ hungry.

They went into the store and gathered an armload of granola bars and chips and Sour Patch Kids – to replace the one Alex’s mom had thrown away, Zach suggested. They paid and left, ripping open the bag of Doritos before they’d even left the parking lot.

“Okay,” Alex said, as if he’d given this some thought during the five minutes they’d been inside the gas station. “I want to go to the ocean.”

“That’s an hour away,” Zach said, reflexively.

“We’d get there at 11:00,” Alex said. “We don’t have to stay for long. We’ll be back by, like, 1:00. That’s when you guys usually get back after dances, right? After parties and shit.”

“Fine,” Zach said grudgingly. “Put it in the GPS.”

Alex did, and then: “You’ve been going the wrong way.”

“Goddammit,” Zach said, and swung the car around.

/

The highway blurred past, with only the exit signs and the occasional set of headlights for company. The radio was on. The GPS glowed in the dark of the car, reflected in Alex’s eyes.

“I can’t believe you agreed,” Alex said. “I didn’t think you were the spontaneous type, Dempsey.”

“Me neither,” Zach said. He felt more peaceful than he’d been for a long, long time. “It’s just – it’s been a weird couple of months. The tapes. You, a month later. And then the trial, and everything that’s been going on since. I just – God. I want to put everything behind me.”

Alex glanced back at the receding lights of the town. “Literally.”

“Literally,” Zach said. “I think it’s working.”

Alex settled into his seat again, slouching comfortably against the leather. “It’s working for me, too.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he said. “I don’t feel anything. That’s a good thing.”

“Uhh,” Zach said. “ _Is_ that a good thing?”

“Better than, like – guilt. And pain.”

“I guess,” Zach said.

“I can feel your skepticism, Dempsey,” Alex said.

“Sue me,” he said, irritated. “It sounded a little weird.”

“Don’t worry,” Alex said. “Don’t worry about me – that’s literally the point of us driving out here. Not to worry. Hakuna fucking matata.”

“Are you quoting Disney at me?”

“What else would I be quoting at you?”

“True,” Zach said. He laughed. “You know, I went to Disney World just two summers ago. With my mom and sister and – ” his voice seemed to strangle itself in his throat for a second. He coughed. “And my dad.”

Alex glanced at him and Zach stared straight forward, willing him to ignore it, to move on. After a beat, Alex complied. “Disney?” he said. “Aren’t you a little old for that?”

“Fuck you,” Zach said, laughing a little. He was glad. He was so fucking glad. The words came a little easier, then. “My sister wanted to. And you know what? We all have our inner princesses inside of us, you know, that just need to come out.”

Alex couldn’t keep a straight face at that. “What princess were you, Zach?”

“Mulan, of course,” Zach said.

“Because you’re Chinese?”

“Uh, fuck you, Alex. It’s because I’m smart and brave and loyal – ”

“Also traits commonly used to describe, like, golden retrievers.”

“Hey,” Zach said, pointing a finger at Alex. “For the record, I’d fucking love to be a golden retriever.”

“True,” Alex agreed. “I’d be a Chihuahua, probably.”

“No,” Zach said. “Chihuahuas are so annoying. You’re not even a dog. You’re a cat.”

“I’m allergic to cats,” Alex said.

“That is so not the point,” Zach said. “Completely beside the point. You’re a cat because you’re standoffish and you sleep all the time.”

“Nah,” Alex said. He looked at Zach. “It’s because when I actually like people, I open up to them.”

“That too,” Zach said, trying to ignore how his heart had skipped a beat. “See? A cat.”

Alex smiled and pulled out his Sour Patch Kids. “Alright, I concede,” he said, and opened the bag. “What flavor? You get a reward for guessing my spirit animal correctly.”

“Pass me the orange ones,” Zach said.

/

The smell of salt filled the air. Darkness swallowed the horizon; the moon, hovering over the water, was the only thing lighting up the beach.

They stepped onto the sand, feeling it sink beneath their toes. Feeling like intruders upon this space.

“Talk about anticlimactic,” Zach said.

“No,” Alex said. He looked around. “No, I don’t think so.”

Without another word, he began picking his way among the dunes to the waves. Zach glanced around and followed him, keeping an eye on his cane, whether it slipped on the sand. Side by side, they crossed the boardwalk and came to a stop right before the water lapped their toes.

After a beat, Zach said, “What are we here for, Alex? Tell me.”

“To be free,” Alex said, “if only for a moment.” He dropped his cane beside him and sat down, in his dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up and the top two buttons undone, looking disheveled and tired and delighted. “God,” he said. “Like, think about it. This vast fucking ocean doesn’t care about – Evergreen, or the court case, or Hannah, or us. Across the world, people don’t even know we exist. We’re so small here. It puts things in perspective.”

Zach shed his suit jacket and tie and dumped them on the sand. He’d get them dry-cleaned later. “Yeah,” he said quietly. “I get it.”

The waves came down in quiet, muffled crashes. It smelled like nostalgia.

“I’m going to get out of here,” Zach said. “Out of this town. I got my college acceptance letters a while back. I’m going to Tampa to study marine biology.”

Alex turned to look at him. “Tampa?” he said. “Florida?”

“Florida,” Zach said. “If I can get through the rest of this year.”

Alex stared at him. “Oh, shit,” he said, as if having a revelation.

Zach stared back. “What?”

“I guess we have to – ” Alex swallows. “I guess we have to make the best of the time we have left.”

“Stop,” Zach says, trying to sound dismissive and failing to get past the lump in his throat. “It’s not like I’m not going to come back to visit.”

Alex looked down. Then up. “Zach,” he said, soft.

“What?” he said, again.

“You’re crying,” Alex said.

He was. He was trying not to, at the same time. “Whatever,” Zach said, dusting off his hands and trying to wipe his eyes. “It’s not, I’m not – ”

Alex leaned forward, in, in, in. “Oh,” he said. “Zach, I’m going to miss you,” and then his head was on Zach’s shoulder, he was leaning in for a hug, not a – Zach closed his eyes and wrapped an arm around Alex’s back, his waist. He felt Alex’s arms come up around him, too, and he tried not to savor it.

“Don’t cry,” Alex said, into his ear.

Zach closed his eyes. “Trying.”

Alex drew back first. Neither of them said a word; he just leaned in again, his forehead against Zach’s. Zach blinked, long and slow, trying to clear the last of the tears. “Sorry,” he said.

“No,” Alex said, “no, don’t apologize.”

“I don’t know what happened.”

“You don’t have to keep it all in,” Alex said. “You’re allowed to be – emotional.”

“I don’t know how,” Zach said.

Alex swallowed – Zach could feel it, that’s how close they were – and placed a clumsy, gentle hand on Zach’s chest. “It’s ok,” he said.

“Alex,” Zach said, barely there.

Alex leaned in and his hand slid up, sandy and gritty and irritating, around the back of Zach’s neck and got sand into his shirt – but Zach didn’t care, because Alex was kissing him. Water swirled around their toes and Zach closed his eyes and kissed back, uncertain, hesitating. Slow and gentle, like the waves. He didn’t know how long it went on, but some time later, Alex broke away.

“Thank you,” Alex said. “For these past few months, and for – this.”

Zach drew back. Kissed his forehead. “I’m not leaving yet.”

“So stay with me now,” Alex said. He had to look up at Zach, even while sitting down, a fact that he found inexplicably adorable.

“No,” Zach said, “I’m going to leave you on this beach.”

Alex snorted and pulled Zach back in by the collar and began undoing his shirt buttons, and then he lost track of time entirely.

/

“Zachary Shan-Yung Dempsey,” his mother said, standing in the doorway. “What do you have to say for yourself? Do you have any idea what time it is?”

Zach trudged into the house, dropping his shoes by the door. “No,” he said. “But I’m going to shower. And then I’m going to bed. I love you, Mom.”

His mother blinked. “I love you too.” Then, “But – ”

“Good night,” he said, and went to his room, his head full of the sea.

 

 

.

**Author's Note:**

> I JUST WANT TO SAY I WAS HERE FIRST. IM RLLY LIVING THIS SEASON I'VE NEVER FELT MORE VALIDATED IN MY LIFE
> 
> also i have another fic in the works, and i'll probably incorporate stuff from this fic into that one...........whoops.


End file.
